Week 7 AFC/NFC Recap
By Gary Ashley
AFC Coorespondent/Dennis Green Pink Slip Receiver
New England at Buffalo - Last time these two met Tom Brady had an off-week. Today, he was back to work throwing 2 TDs while running back Corey Dillon had two of his own. As for the Buffalo offense, it felt like a game of hot potato for them where they felt like getting rid of the ball as much as possible. And by Hot Potato, I mean the uncool 80s version with the cotton-stuffed potato. J.P. Loserman went 16/25 for 193 yds and 1 INT coupled with 2 lost fumbles. Loserman was probably better off sweeping leaves out of the gutters instead of suiting up today. Such was not the case of Bills kicker Rian Lindell that nailed all 6 points to almost make the over/under. Newfoundland 28, Rian Lindell 6
Green Bay at Miami - Brett Favre is not retiring until they make a sequel to "There's Something About Mary." There, I said it. Favre proved again this week that all the sports critics drinking "Doubterade" (is that even a liquid?) that he's still got the magic. Then again, it helps also when your competition is Joey Harrington, whom you may all remember from the company flag football tournament. Harrington was more erratic than a drunken Bengal on 66 throwing 2 TDs with 3 INTs to go with his 414 yds passing. Favre combined powers with John Madden and in a Voltron-esque manuever combined to become MegaFavre, throwing 19/35 for 206 yds and 2 TDs. Miami gets an off week, a perfect opportunity for that last-minute shark attack to go after Harrington's arm. Madden Morphin Brett Favre Rangers 34, Team That Needs Marino 24
Arizona at Oakland - "We're fooling Arizona Cardinals fans. While they weren't caring, Dennis Green switched his offensive coordinator with his quarterback coach. Let's see the difference." I had a strong feeling that Oakland's W would be for a win instead of Westside this Sunday. The Cardinals new O-Coordinator showed his brilliance by opting for a running play on a 3rd and 29 from the 1 yard line, leading to a safety. Apperently he had not bookmarked the chapter in "Coaching for Dummies" that explains passing out of your own end zone. Andy Walter got his first win, putting up bowling shoe-ugly numbers in the process going 17/30 for 263 yds, 1 TD, 1 INT and 2 Fumbles. The Matt Leinart Era of Trading has begun as he tossed 2 INTs while MISTER AUTOMATIC Neil Rackers scored all 9 Arizona points off field goals. I can now officially say that Arizona is the worst team in football. Oakland's Win Cherry 22, Neil Rackers 9
THE LIST
(of QBs to throw under the hay ride)
Matt Leinart (13/32 for 203 yds, 2 INTs) - We'll see him traded on eBay. He accepts PayPal.
J.P. Loserman (16/25 for 193 yds, 1 INT, 2 fumbles) - Voted "most likely to be wedgied" by all other NFL QBs.
Seneca Wallace (14/25 for 134 yds, 2 INTs) - Mike Saddlebag gets injured and he leads them to Seattle's first home loss in 14 games. Way to kill the party.
Andrew Walter (17/30 for 263 yds, 1 TD, 1 INT, 2 Fumbles) - Just because Oakland won does not mean you're off The List...yet.
Joey Harrington (33/62 for 414 yds, 2 TDs, 3 INTs) - Inflating your stats does not mean jack when your team loses.
AFC Coorespondent/Dennis Green Pink Slip Receiver
New England at Buffalo - Last time these two met Tom Brady had an off-week. Today, he was back to work throwing 2 TDs while running back Corey Dillon had two of his own. As for the Buffalo offense, it felt like a game of hot potato for them where they felt like getting rid of the ball as much as possible. And by Hot Potato, I mean the uncool 80s version with the cotton-stuffed potato. J.P. Loserman went 16/25 for 193 yds and 1 INT coupled with 2 lost fumbles. Loserman was probably better off sweeping leaves out of the gutters instead of suiting up today. Such was not the case of Bills kicker Rian Lindell that nailed all 6 points to almost make the over/under. Newfoundland 28, Rian Lindell 6
Green Bay at Miami - Brett Favre is not retiring until they make a sequel to "There's Something About Mary." There, I said it. Favre proved again this week that all the sports critics drinking "Doubterade" (is that even a liquid?) that he's still got the magic. Then again, it helps also when your competition is Joey Harrington, whom you may all remember from the company flag football tournament. Harrington was more erratic than a drunken Bengal on 66 throwing 2 TDs with 3 INTs to go with his 414 yds passing. Favre combined powers with John Madden and in a Voltron-esque manuever combined to become MegaFavre, throwing 19/35 for 206 yds and 2 TDs. Miami gets an off week, a perfect opportunity for that last-minute shark attack to go after Harrington's arm. Madden Morphin Brett Favre Rangers 34, Team That Needs Marino 24
Arizona at Oakland - "We're fooling Arizona Cardinals fans. While they weren't caring, Dennis Green switched his offensive coordinator with his quarterback coach. Let's see the difference." I had a strong feeling that Oakland's W would be for a win instead of Westside this Sunday. The Cardinals new O-Coordinator showed his brilliance by opting for a running play on a 3rd and 29 from the 1 yard line, leading to a safety. Apperently he had not bookmarked the chapter in "Coaching for Dummies" that explains passing out of your own end zone. Andy Walter got his first win, putting up bowling shoe-ugly numbers in the process going 17/30 for 263 yds, 1 TD, 1 INT and 2 Fumbles. The Matt Leinart Era of Trading has begun as he tossed 2 INTs while MISTER AUTOMATIC Neil Rackers scored all 9 Arizona points off field goals. I can now officially say that Arizona is the worst team in football. Oakland's Win Cherry 22, Neil Rackers 9
THE LIST
(of QBs to throw under the hay ride)
Matt Leinart (13/32 for 203 yds, 2 INTs) - We'll see him traded on eBay. He accepts PayPal.
J.P. Loserman (16/25 for 193 yds, 1 INT, 2 fumbles) - Voted "most likely to be wedgied" by all other NFL QBs.
Seneca Wallace (14/25 for 134 yds, 2 INTs) - Mike Saddlebag gets injured and he leads them to Seattle's first home loss in 14 games. Way to kill the party.
Andrew Walter (17/30 for 263 yds, 1 TD, 1 INT, 2 Fumbles) - Just because Oakland won does not mean you're off The List...yet.
Joey Harrington (33/62 for 414 yds, 2 TDs, 3 INTs) - Inflating your stats does not mean jack when your team loses.
posted by Gary at
7:29 PM
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