Week 14 AFC Recap
Gary Ashley
Pissed at Christmas
Miami at Buffalo - The sign that your team is gonna be 0-16 this year is when a Buffalo QB throws 4 TDs in one game. Another sure sign is when your starting QB throws 1/2 for 6 yards, Sacked 3 times, and a fumble returned for a TD. Another definite sign is when you turn the ball over 5 times in a game and fumble a total of 8 times with only 3 being a loss of posession. Another sure sign is when the alumni of the last undefeated season gets cranky at the threat of New England beating them, only the same thing occurs with the 1976 Bucs. The Miami Dolphins should have an asterisk next to their record because they only lost 6 games by 3 points or less and they played on a horrible field against the Steelers. YOUR FINAL: Jim Kelly 38, "Ace Ventura Gave Up, Dan" 17
Pittsburgh at New England - sniff...sniff sniff...eww...what's that smell coming from the Steelers backup players bench? Is that Anthony Smith? And he reeks of...sniff sniff...ICY HOT! Yes the one man you can blame for making a false guarantee is the reason why the Patriots are going undefeated this season and the reason why the Steelers lost...oh, and why he gave up 14 points on two TD passes also. It was a case for the Steelers of being outplayed and having a mouthy backup Safety on your team who will no doubt be traded to the Dolphins next season. Patriots will close out the season playing the NY Jets, Miami, and the NY Giants. Don Shula is a sad panda. YOUR FINAL: 7th Gate of Hell Opening 34, Let's Give Anthony Smith "The Maddox" 13
Indianapolis at Baltimore - There was a time seven weeks ago when the Ravens were 4-2. This was before they caught Type A Fumblitis. Kyle Boller, in for the injured Steve McNair who needed snow tires and an oil change, threw 19/25 for 1 TD and 3 INTs while Peyton Manning posted 4 passing TDs and a game that was over by the 1st quarter. We then were treated to Madden's 4th quarter Christmas shopping stories. Is this writer's strike over yet? Baltimore plays winless Miami next week in what could be Miami's best chance to get The Uno. Indy will have to wait till the playoffs to extract revenge on New England. YOUR FINAL: Peyton's Pep Talk 44, The Reason Why the Colts Left Baltimore 20
THE LIST
1) Anthony Smith (PIT) - Guranteed victory over New England, lost, got burnt on 2 Patriots TDs - Art Rooney would put his cigar out in your eye if he had the chance.
2) Miami - 8 total fumbles (5 recovered, 3 lost), 2 INTs - Seriously, is the gym teacher gonna clamp down on this team for lack of effort? Up on A Section.
3) Vinny Testaverde (CAR) - 13/28 for 84 yards, 1 INT returned for TD
4) The Infrequented Backups - Billy Volek (SD) - 0/2, 1 INT; Kerry Collins (TEN) - 1/3 for -2 yards; Andrew Walter (OAK) - 5/8 for 38 yards - I thought Andy Walter was still playing in NFL Europa. Great to see last year's MVP Lister get in the game.
Heisman....Oh wait, Tim Tebow's a Sophmore!? AWWW CRAP! MIAMI'S SCREWED NEXT YEAR! We got to rename this now:
"Best Ohio State Draft Pick" Watch:
1) Miami 0-13
2) Atlanta, NY Jets, San Francisco, St. Louis 3-10
Pissed at Christmas
Miami at Buffalo - The sign that your team is gonna be 0-16 this year is when a Buffalo QB throws 4 TDs in one game. Another sure sign is when your starting QB throws 1/2 for 6 yards, Sacked 3 times, and a fumble returned for a TD. Another definite sign is when you turn the ball over 5 times in a game and fumble a total of 8 times with only 3 being a loss of posession. Another sure sign is when the alumni of the last undefeated season gets cranky at the threat of New England beating them, only the same thing occurs with the 1976 Bucs. The Miami Dolphins should have an asterisk next to their record because they only lost 6 games by 3 points or less and they played on a horrible field against the Steelers. YOUR FINAL: Jim Kelly 38, "Ace Ventura Gave Up, Dan" 17
Pittsburgh at New England - sniff...sniff sniff...eww...what's that smell coming from the Steelers backup players bench? Is that Anthony Smith? And he reeks of...sniff sniff...ICY HOT! Yes the one man you can blame for making a false guarantee is the reason why the Patriots are going undefeated this season and the reason why the Steelers lost...oh, and why he gave up 14 points on two TD passes also. It was a case for the Steelers of being outplayed and having a mouthy backup Safety on your team who will no doubt be traded to the Dolphins next season. Patriots will close out the season playing the NY Jets, Miami, and the NY Giants. Don Shula is a sad panda. YOUR FINAL: 7th Gate of Hell Opening 34, Let's Give Anthony Smith "The Maddox" 13
Indianapolis at Baltimore - There was a time seven weeks ago when the Ravens were 4-2. This was before they caught Type A Fumblitis. Kyle Boller, in for the injured Steve McNair who needed snow tires and an oil change, threw 19/25 for 1 TD and 3 INTs while Peyton Manning posted 4 passing TDs and a game that was over by the 1st quarter. We then were treated to Madden's 4th quarter Christmas shopping stories. Is this writer's strike over yet? Baltimore plays winless Miami next week in what could be Miami's best chance to get The Uno. Indy will have to wait till the playoffs to extract revenge on New England. YOUR FINAL: Peyton's Pep Talk 44, The Reason Why the Colts Left Baltimore 20
THE LIST
1) Anthony Smith (PIT) - Guranteed victory over New England, lost, got burnt on 2 Patriots TDs - Art Rooney would put his cigar out in your eye if he had the chance.
2) Miami - 8 total fumbles (5 recovered, 3 lost), 2 INTs - Seriously, is the gym teacher gonna clamp down on this team for lack of effort? Up on A Section.
3) Vinny Testaverde (CAR) - 13/28 for 84 yards, 1 INT returned for TD
4) The Infrequented Backups - Billy Volek (SD) - 0/2, 1 INT; Kerry Collins (TEN) - 1/3 for -2 yards; Andrew Walter (OAK) - 5/8 for 38 yards - I thought Andy Walter was still playing in NFL Europa. Great to see last year's MVP Lister get in the game.
Heisman....Oh wait, Tim Tebow's a Sophmore!? AWWW CRAP! MIAMI'S SCREWED NEXT YEAR! We got to rename this now:
"Best Ohio State Draft Pick" Watch:
1) Miami 0-13
2) Atlanta, NY Jets, San Francisco, St. Louis 3-10
posted by Gary at
6:49 PM
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