Gary's AFC Season Preview
One statement/prediction to all AFC Teams:
Pittsburgh Steelers - Cowher comes back and beat the everholy sh** out of Steely McBeam in the Steelers home opener. Pirate Parrot gets the assist.
Cleveland Browns - Bradley Quinn, injury, Week 8 and then your season is in the tank like goldfish.
Baltimore Ravens - Scary good defense will win games, but the only points will come from defensive turnovers and field goals.
Cincy Bengals - I will post about the first guy from Cincy that gets arrested this season, and the Steelers will eliminate them from the playoffs once again.
Houston Texans - David Carr is no more, so expect the Tex's to win at least 7 games this year.
Kansas City Chiefs - With Trent Green off the team, expect them to do a whole lot worse. Larry Johnson's injury will be your fantasy football killer.
Miami Dolphins - With Trent Green on the team, expect them to do a whole lot worse. At least Cleo Lemon avoids any sort of coverage. My pick for the laughing stock in the AFC with Cam-Cam at the helm.
Buffalo Bills - NFL.com news headline: "Camp tour: Bills' hopes rest on Losman" This could be another mediocre season for the Orchard Parkers.
Denver Broncos - Broncos fans already ran Jake Plummer out of town, now they'll do the same to Jay Cutler.
Indy Colts - Peyton Manning, first you stole the Super Bowl from Tom Brady and we rejoiced. Now what you need is an SI Swimsuit model of greater or equal hotness than Gisele Brady. Since the Colts won the Super Bowl they are mathematically eliminated from the playoffs.
Jacksonville Jaguars - Expect more brilliant Monday Night analysis of this team with 40% more mid-season QB controversy.
New England Patriots - I feel bad picking on Tom Brady all these years. NAAAAAHHHH...but seriously I have them as my pick to win the Super Bowl. And with that now said, the Patriots are mathematically eliminated from the playoffs.
New York Jets - Chad Pennington is still the starter? Oh boy, lemme get the list...
Oakland Raiders - Daunte Culpepper is the new starter? Andy Walter better drop the "deer in headlights" look very soon.
San Diego Chargers - The Chargers as a whole mean nothing other than employing LaDainian Tomlinson to your fantasy football team. Wins and losses will mean nothing, just rushing yards and TDs for your fantasy team, "The Fiery Crotch Lobsters"
Tennessee Titans - This is the year Jeff Fisher shaves the mustache.
Pittsburgh Steelers - Cowher comes back and beat the everholy sh** out of Steely McBeam in the Steelers home opener. Pirate Parrot gets the assist.
Cleveland Browns - Bradley Quinn, injury, Week 8 and then your season is in the tank like goldfish.
Baltimore Ravens - Scary good defense will win games, but the only points will come from defensive turnovers and field goals.
Cincy Bengals - I will post about the first guy from Cincy that gets arrested this season, and the Steelers will eliminate them from the playoffs once again.
Houston Texans - David Carr is no more, so expect the Tex's to win at least 7 games this year.
Kansas City Chiefs - With Trent Green off the team, expect them to do a whole lot worse. Larry Johnson's injury will be your fantasy football killer.
Miami Dolphins - With Trent Green on the team, expect them to do a whole lot worse. At least Cleo Lemon avoids any sort of coverage. My pick for the laughing stock in the AFC with Cam-Cam at the helm.
Buffalo Bills - NFL.com news headline: "Camp tour: Bills' hopes rest on Losman" This could be another mediocre season for the Orchard Parkers.
Denver Broncos - Broncos fans already ran Jake Plummer out of town, now they'll do the same to Jay Cutler.
Indy Colts - Peyton Manning, first you stole the Super Bowl from Tom Brady and we rejoiced. Now what you need is an SI Swimsuit model of greater or equal hotness than Gisele Brady. Since the Colts won the Super Bowl they are mathematically eliminated from the playoffs.
Jacksonville Jaguars - Expect more brilliant Monday Night analysis of this team with 40% more mid-season QB controversy.
New England Patriots - I feel bad picking on Tom Brady all these years. NAAAAAHHHH...but seriously I have them as my pick to win the Super Bowl. And with that now said, the Patriots are mathematically eliminated from the playoffs.
New York Jets - Chad Pennington is still the starter? Oh boy, lemme get the list...
Oakland Raiders - Daunte Culpepper is the new starter? Andy Walter better drop the "deer in headlights" look very soon.
San Diego Chargers - The Chargers as a whole mean nothing other than employing LaDainian Tomlinson to your fantasy football team. Wins and losses will mean nothing, just rushing yards and TDs for your fantasy team, "The Fiery Crotch Lobsters"
Tennessee Titans - This is the year Jeff Fisher shaves the mustache.
posted by Gary at
12:53 PM
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