Week 15 AFC Recap
By Gary Ashley
AFC Correspondent/Santa
Miami at Buffalo - Tell me if you've read this in a Mad Libs before: "____ started in his first NFL game this week for the ineffective Joey Harrington." This week's winner is Cleo Lemon for the Dolphins, who if he plays his cards right can be the backup QB for the team they lost to, the Buffalo Bills. Harrington stunk up the place going 5/17 for 20 yds and 2 INTs, while the Lemon-scented Dolphin went 9/16 for 96 yds. Anyone who's saying "QB Controversy in Miami" is a moron. Damn-Near Canada 21, Damn-Near Cuba 0
Houston at New England - In part 2 of this week's "QB Controversies that will never happen," David Carr threw 4 INTs to New England and cemented yet another season in the NFL Sub Club where after the 10th loss the 11th is free. Tom Brady thre 2 TDs and New England's kicker not named Vineteri acquired 16 points in a total whomping of the Texans. In a completely useless stat, Vinny Testaverde was rushed (or knocked backwards) for -4 yards. 2-Time Super Bowl QB 40, Future AFL Draft Pick 7
Cincinnati at Indianapolis - (Editor's Note: I playing a golf game and writing this section at the same time, and I saw someone with the screename of "ocho_cinco". I played the Steve Mariachi music in tribute.) Peyton Manning and the Colts wanted to prove to the cable audience that they are not some almost-perfect pushover NFL team like the Chicago Bears. Peyton Manning proved that he is still the man at QB with 4 TDs, 3 of them to Marvin Harrison because apperently he was the team's secret santa this year. With Cincy's loss that now makes all 2nd place teams in all AFC divisions at 8-6. Now's a good time in the season to crap your pants. Primetime Colts 34, Daytime Bengals 16
THE LIST
(of QBs to be ousted by the Heisman)
David Carr (16/28 for 127 yds, 4 INTs) - I hereby declare David Carr as "The Sandbag." Houston, fire this chucklef*** already.
Tie - Jon Kitna (16/26 for 135 yds, 2 INTs) and Brett Favre (20/37 for 174 yds, 3 INTs) - Two of the oldest NFL teams with two of the oldest NFL QBs.
Joey Harrington (5/17 for 20 yds, 2 INTs) - You know your career has taken a dive when you're replaced by a QB with a funnier name than yours.
Andy Walter (14/20 for 131 yds, 2 INTs) - Andy comes home once again as Oakland gets shutout for the 3rd time this season and their seventh straight loss.
HEISMAN (Draft Pick) WATCH
Oakland and Detroit both at 2-12
Tampa Bay 3-11
Cleveland, Houston, Arizona 4-10
AFC Correspondent/Santa
Miami at Buffalo - Tell me if you've read this in a Mad Libs before: "____ started in his first NFL game this week for the ineffective Joey Harrington." This week's winner is Cleo Lemon for the Dolphins, who if he plays his cards right can be the backup QB for the team they lost to, the Buffalo Bills. Harrington stunk up the place going 5/17 for 20 yds and 2 INTs, while the Lemon-scented Dolphin went 9/16 for 96 yds. Anyone who's saying "QB Controversy in Miami" is a moron. Damn-Near Canada 21, Damn-Near Cuba 0
Houston at New England - In part 2 of this week's "QB Controversies that will never happen," David Carr threw 4 INTs to New England and cemented yet another season in the NFL Sub Club where after the 10th loss the 11th is free. Tom Brady thre 2 TDs and New England's kicker not named Vineteri acquired 16 points in a total whomping of the Texans. In a completely useless stat, Vinny Testaverde was rushed (or knocked backwards) for -4 yards. 2-Time Super Bowl QB 40, Future AFL Draft Pick 7
Cincinnati at Indianapolis - (Editor's Note: I playing a golf game and writing this section at the same time, and I saw someone with the screename of "ocho_cinco". I played the Steve Mariachi music in tribute.) Peyton Manning and the Colts wanted to prove to the cable audience that they are not some almost-perfect pushover NFL team like the Chicago Bears. Peyton Manning proved that he is still the man at QB with 4 TDs, 3 of them to Marvin Harrison because apperently he was the team's secret santa this year. With Cincy's loss that now makes all 2nd place teams in all AFC divisions at 8-6. Now's a good time in the season to crap your pants. Primetime Colts 34, Daytime Bengals 16
THE LIST
(of QBs to be ousted by the Heisman)
David Carr (16/28 for 127 yds, 4 INTs) - I hereby declare David Carr as "The Sandbag." Houston, fire this chucklef*** already.
Tie - Jon Kitna (16/26 for 135 yds, 2 INTs) and Brett Favre (20/37 for 174 yds, 3 INTs) - Two of the oldest NFL teams with two of the oldest NFL QBs.
Joey Harrington (5/17 for 20 yds, 2 INTs) - You know your career has taken a dive when you're replaced by a QB with a funnier name than yours.
Andy Walter (14/20 for 131 yds, 2 INTs) - Andy comes home once again as Oakland gets shutout for the 3rd time this season and their seventh straight loss.
HEISMAN (Draft Pick) WATCH
Oakland and Detroit both at 2-12
Tampa Bay 3-11
Cleveland, Houston, Arizona 4-10
posted by Gary at
6:52 PM
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