Week 14 AFC Recap
By Gary Ashley
AFC Coorespondent/Cooresponder of the AFC
Oakland at Cincinnati - Cincy posted bail and arrived in time for Coach Burt Reynolds and the Wrecking Crew to face Adam Sandler, Goldberg, Kevin Nash, and the Oakland Raiders. In the words of Mr. Sandler, Oakland got hibbity dibbity-ed this game. Carson Palmer, the only Bengal not to have a criminal record, threw 2 TDs coupled with 3 INTs, which the defense held Oakland to only 10 points. Mr. Johnson (Rudi; not Chad, Jeremi, or Carl) added two rushing touchdowns to keep Cincy's dreams of another Wild Card elimination alive. Oakland still has the dream of stealing the Heisman QB from Detroit. Caged Tigers 27, MediOakland10
Jacksonville at Indianapolis - Oh. my. Fark.com. St. Louis won a Super Bowl with a prolific offense, a domed stadium, and a sweet old lady as an owner. Indianapolis has all that except an old lady and a run defense. It's bad enough when Jacksonville's 3rd string running back has 71 yards. This game featured more mistackles than a bait shop beauty contest. This is where Indy takes a dump on their season in a most dramatic fashion. Kinda like a drama queen at the winter formal. That Florida Team; no, not that one, not that one either, yeah THAT one 44, Stag Prom Date 17
Tennessee at Houston - Vince Young returns to the team he could have played for in the city of the school which he did play for. Unlike last year Mr. Young was not preparing for finals, unlike his former season starter Kerry Collins, who had a hangover and slept through all the finals en route to a tin foil trophy of beer pong at the Phi Kappa Beta house. In keeping with the dramatic fashion, Vince Young ran 39 yards in overtime for the game winning TD, dusting his possible employer and former school location. "All my ex's live in Texas, that's why I hang my hat in Tennessee." "I can start in two weeks in TN" 26, "I'm becoming THAT GUY" 20
THE LIST
(of players to be dumped in a Starvation Army kettle)
1) The Colts Defense - 375 yds rushing allowed - It's about that time in the season where the Colts Super Bowl Bandwagon drives off a cliff and into a lake of gasoline.
2) Chris Weinke *SNICKER LOL* - 34/61 for 423 yds, 1 TD, 3 INTs - the name's too funny, no more comments needed lol...
3) Jon Kitna - 28/41 for 294 yds, 1 TD, 3 INTs, 1 fumble - Only 3 more weeks until he's a backup or unemployed.
4) Mike Vick - 3 carries for 5 yds - LaDainian Thompson is more of a QB than Mike Vick. And he also is a better running back than Mike Vick.
5) Tom Brady - 12/25 for 78 yds - Miami claims another dead giant and Brady gets listed twice this season.
AFC Coorespondent/Cooresponder of the AFC
Oakland at Cincinnati - Cincy posted bail and arrived in time for Coach Burt Reynolds and the Wrecking Crew to face Adam Sandler, Goldberg, Kevin Nash, and the Oakland Raiders. In the words of Mr. Sandler, Oakland got hibbity dibbity-ed this game. Carson Palmer, the only Bengal not to have a criminal record, threw 2 TDs coupled with 3 INTs, which the defense held Oakland to only 10 points. Mr. Johnson (Rudi; not Chad, Jeremi, or Carl) added two rushing touchdowns to keep Cincy's dreams of another Wild Card elimination alive. Oakland still has the dream of stealing the Heisman QB from Detroit. Caged Tigers 27, MediOakland10
Jacksonville at Indianapolis - Oh. my. Fark.com. St. Louis won a Super Bowl with a prolific offense, a domed stadium, and a sweet old lady as an owner. Indianapolis has all that except an old lady and a run defense. It's bad enough when Jacksonville's 3rd string running back has 71 yards. This game featured more mistackles than a bait shop beauty contest. This is where Indy takes a dump on their season in a most dramatic fashion. Kinda like a drama queen at the winter formal. That Florida Team; no, not that one, not that one either, yeah THAT one 44, Stag Prom Date 17
Tennessee at Houston - Vince Young returns to the team he could have played for in the city of the school which he did play for. Unlike last year Mr. Young was not preparing for finals, unlike his former season starter Kerry Collins, who had a hangover and slept through all the finals en route to a tin foil trophy of beer pong at the Phi Kappa Beta house. In keeping with the dramatic fashion, Vince Young ran 39 yards in overtime for the game winning TD, dusting his possible employer and former school location. "All my ex's live in Texas, that's why I hang my hat in Tennessee." "I can start in two weeks in TN" 26, "I'm becoming THAT GUY" 20
THE LIST
(of players to be dumped in a Starvation Army kettle)
1) The Colts Defense - 375 yds rushing allowed - It's about that time in the season where the Colts Super Bowl Bandwagon drives off a cliff and into a lake of gasoline.
2) Chris Weinke *SNICKER LOL* - 34/61 for 423 yds, 1 TD, 3 INTs - the name's too funny, no more comments needed lol...
3) Jon Kitna - 28/41 for 294 yds, 1 TD, 3 INTs, 1 fumble - Only 3 more weeks until he's a backup or unemployed.
4) Mike Vick - 3 carries for 5 yds - LaDainian Thompson is more of a QB than Mike Vick. And he also is a better running back than Mike Vick.
5) Tom Brady - 12/25 for 78 yds - Miami claims another dead giant and Brady gets listed twice this season.
posted by Gary at
9:59 PM
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