Monday Hangover Radio Show, Episode #1

On this inaugural edition of the Saturday Monday Hangover Radio Show:

1) A discussion on the new features of Madden 2007
2) How EA messed up Madden 2007 for the Game Boy Advance
3) "What's on the NFL Network" with Terrell Owens in "Put Me In, Coach!"
4) Preseason Foreign Locations

Episode #1 - Monday Hangover Radio Show (16:01)

An Actual Madden NFL 07 Review

This week marked the release of the new Madden game, Madden NFL 07. And I gotta say when I opened the game and played it, I thought, “Wow, this game kind of sounds familiar.” And that’s because on the surface Madden 07 plays very much and presents itself very much like 06. But after playing a few games of Madden 07 for the PS2, there are very subtle difference that do make the game different than the 06 version.

But before we get to the differences, it is starting to become a reality from game observers like Gamespot that the Madden series for PS2 is probably going to be coming to an end. At the max I see two more releases of Madden for the PS2 and probably only one more for Xbox. Even though I really despise Xbox, I will give them credit for pushing their next-gen console and getting it out there for the public to consume. From my experiences with video games, it takes about 2-3 years for the next-gen console to get popular I think mainly because that’s how long it takes for the price to go down.

I’ll start the review with the PS2 version again. Yeah, it’s a lot like last year’s. The graphics, menu presentation and voice remain virtually identical from last season’s game. Offensive gameplay is actually different and better than last year’s game. Quarterbacks now don’t throw near as many interceptions as last season when QBs threw INTs like they were going out of style. Play calling, presentation and all that other crap remain pretty much the same too.

Of course, EA Sports threw together their latest version of teen ear-bleed pop mixed with gangsta rap to put in the game. Overall, the game does improve with the updated rosters and easier passing but I can’t say it’s something you should jump out to buy, especially if you have the 06 version and don’t care about the updated rosters and having Arizona’s new stadium in the game.

OK, I’ve actually never played the Xbox 360 version of the game but I do want to give my thoughts on it. It does look really impressive when watching the previews. Graphically, I like the score graphic in-game and the other little things in the games. The menu presentations look great and I think the players look OK. The gameplay seems like it’s not quite all there yet. It’s definitely about a year away from being the best game it could be.
So, overall the Madden hype is over and I can concentrate on real football and the epic fantasy draft. By the way, our PCMCFL draft will be Labor Day night at 7:30 p.m. I’m prepared to give live commentary on it. Now THAT could be interesting.

EA Sports, Not in the Game: Madden 2007

Today marks the in-store debut of this year's latest itineration of the popular John Madden football series, Madden 2007. This also marks the last day you can still sell your copy of Madden 2006 for a decent price. The NFL exclusive license and engaging gameplay has become an icon to video game football and is a stapel item in dorms across national campuses.

My take on the series is that buying a copy of Madden is a lot like buying a computer: Buying a bargain basement edition that's 4 years outdated is practically pointless (in this case, severely outdated rosters) while the latest and greatest will put a massive dent in your wallet but will be good enough to last you a few years. The Madden series in the past few years has come under scrutiny for offering too little new features and updated rosters while charging around $50 per copy.

Where I think the problem is that Electronic Arts isn't offering too little, rather they have so many ideas that not all of them make it into the game. Here now, 20 content items and features that did not make it into Madden 2007:

Twenty Madden 2007 Omissions

1) Authentic ACL tearing sound effect

2) Training Camp drama simulator

3) Chad Johnson "Burn List" Fold Out Poster

4) Outback Steakhouse gift card

5) Madden 2007 Fantasy Football

6) Tommy Maddox's State Farm agency appears on the map in NFL Superstar mode

7) Carolina Panther Cheerleaders mugshot loading screen

8) Drew Rosenhaus and HBO's Arliss are unlockable NFL Superstar agents

9) John Madden will verbally call you a wuss for selecting the QB Kneel play against another human player

10) Pat Summerall drinking game using recycled audio from Madden 2001

11) Bo Jackson appears as an unlockable character, however his overall rating is so high that he is banned from tournament or season play (Tecmo Bowl, anyone?)

12) If at anytime bros greatly outnumber hoes in a dorm room, the game will stop and Madden will kick onlookers out

13) EA Sports Arena Football table diving

14) Arizona Cardinals stadium with limited features; full features would have taken up an entire disc with only two teams allowed on, both being teams Arizona can beat: San Francisco, and Arizona

15) The Hit Stick and The Truck Stick now meet The Drum Stick; Madden will eat turducken on any Thanksgiving day game played

16) Tiger Woods game engine used for field goals; You're better off going for 2, fckr

17) Recycled audio from Madden 1993

18) Keep with realism, New England beats the crap out of Mike Vanderjagt for each field goal missed

19) Kicker Jose "Smalls" Cortez may be traded with warning or prior acknowledgement

20) Frank Caliendo is actually John Madden

The Reedman's Completely Biased NFC Preview

Hello, once again. My name is Greg Reedy and I’m a reporter at the Ridgway Record having a fun and crazy time. First off, I have to thank the Hangover for assigning me to the NFC, the conference generally now regarded as the West Shamokin compared to the AFC’s Kittanning. So I really appreciate having to savor all those teams. Notice also that most of the teams Western PAers hate are in the NFC. 49ers. Cowboys. Eagles. That will make it fun. Even though I will be looking at the NFC this year, I feel obligated to do a complete and useless league preview of all 32 teams with uninteresting factoids and quirks. What time is it? Chamillionaire says it’s “Grind Time.”

NFC East

Dallas Cowboys – The team everyone loves to hate except for certain people I knew in high school hahaha. With T.O. now in Dallas, will he now be eating Tuna or will he behave? And just look what will happen if T.O. doesn’t get the ball 13 times a game. I have my own theory. T.O. will bury Drew Bledsoe’s feet in cement so he can’t move around in the pocket….Wait that already happened? So that’s why Bledsoe can’t move around? Wow who would have thunk it? Over-Under on first Bledsoe/TO sideline blowup: Week 5. 2006: 10-6

Philly Eagles – Hey, McNabb’s finally not injured anymore! Too bad he doesn’t have something called receivers or a running game. They do have Brian Westbrook, but you have to run the ball for him to be effective. I also heard Hank Fraley may be getting cut soon. Way to go, RMU.
2006: 7-9

New York Giants: THE G MEN! Now it’s time to see if Eli Manning can break the family playoff curse after getting pasted and lambasted against Carolina. Let’s also see if Tom Coughlin will let the players do anything. At all. Having Coughlin as coach is like having Curren as your principal. Without the child porno. Whew. I think Jay Feely is back again too, don’t attempt any field goals. 2006: 9-7

Washington Redskins: What will Clinton Portis wear next? This trendy fantasy pick will do anything with his wardrobe for attention. Too bad the players at skill positions are older than dirt.
2006: 8-8

NFC South

Atlanta Falcons: Another year of the Vick experience where he runs around and throws the ball to the imaginary target 20 yards behind the receiver. But at least he’s still good in Madden Madden NFL is now all that matters. Just remember Aug. 22. And if he throws for 200 yards, he will let all his 7,654 detractors know about it. 2006: 8-8

Tampa Bay Bucs – Trendy team of EHS in which they had a couple fans. Chris Simms tries to avoid the Gruden murderous face and the Phil Simms “I wasn’t gay in NFL Gameday 99 face.”
2006: 9-7

Carolina Panthers – This team will probably be in the Super Bowl. The reason why I don’t think it will happen because of DeShaun Foster. It’s nothing personal except for one thing.
DeShaun Foster probably cost me a chance at my fantasy league title last season.
By playing Foster and sitting Mike Anderson, Foster decided to not score any touchdowns that day while Anderson had 2. I lost the semifinal and any chance of a championship. Now that I’ve wasted your time, let’s go to the next team. 2006: 12-4

New Orleans Saints – Drew Brees is the new QB and the Superdome will be back soon enough. But remember the Saints are still the Saints and nothing will ever change that. OK, maybe a move to Los Angeles, but that’s it. 2006: 6-10

NFC North:

Minnesota Vikings: First off, the Vikings have new uniforms for the eye to be blinded by. Just think, the Vikings will be wearing PURPLE pants on the road this season. That’s a thought to shudder at. They at least have Brad Johnson, who graduated from the Drew Bledsoe School of mobility. Put a poison pill in that contract. 2006: 9-7

Chicago Bears – The only thing offensive about this team is their offense. Can Rex Grossman get it together and finish an entire season or will eternal QB stopgap Brian Griese be anointed the starter? 2006: 7-9

Detroit Lions – Everything about this team is terrible. When John “Bradshaw” Layfield is making cracks at your GM, you know you’re in trouble. 2006: 5-11

Green Bay Packers – Brett Favre is playing! Brett Favre is playing! Expect a lot of pick sixes. By the way, there should be bets when NBC gets flex scheduling, if Green Bay gets selected. I’d say it’s bloody likely. 2006: 6-10

NFC West

Seattle Seahawks – At least Seattle isn’t complaining about the officiating in the Super Bowl anymore. A lot of people are counting on Shawn Alexander to have a good year. Oh, and there aren’t any Seattle fans outside of Seattle. 2006: 11-5

Arizona Cardinals – Arizona moves into a retractable-roof stadium this season which might make the team win. But more than likely, it’ll cause “PNC park syndrome” where fans will go to the games just to see the new stadium. 2006: 7-9

St. Louis Rams – Everybody just forgot about this team, and its cast of aging veterans and Marc Bulger (OF) Central Catholic. Thank you NFL primetime. You will be missed. 2006: 9-7

San Francisco 49ers – Saving the worst for last. Mr. Small Hands, Alex Smith, will try to throw a TD pass this season to his own team. Good luck. If you want a good version of the team, play Madden 97, not Madden 07. 2006: 5-11.

Stay tuned for future articles including the best and worst TV games this season, and of course, the Reedman's completely biases fantasy football preview. It'll be good.

The Reedman's Completely Biased AFC Preview

Hello, once again. My name is Greg Reedy and I’m a reporter at the Ridgway Record having a fun and crazy time. First off, I have to thank the Hangover for assigning me to the NFC, the conference generally now regarded as the West Shamokin compared to the AFC’s Kittanning. So I really appreciate having to savor all those teams. Notice also that most of the teams Western PAers hate are in the NFC. 49ers. Cowboys. Eagles. That will make it fun. Even though I will be looking at the NFC this year, I feel obligated to do a complete and useless league preview of all 32 teams with uninteresting factoids and quirks. What time is it? Chamillionaire says it’s “Grind Time.”

AFC East

Buffalo Bills – Ridgway is a gray area between Steelers and Bills fans. But for Buffalo, at least Marv Levy is back. That’s all about they have. They have a 3-headed monster at quarterback. What you talkin about, Willis? I’m talking about another cruddy season. 2006 Finish: 6-10.

Miami Dolphins – Ever know that guy who did nothing but play Dungeons and Dragons? Substitute D and D with football and that guy with Nick Saban. Saban recently turned down dinner with the prez because of football. Oh, and just remember this. Daunte Culpepper is playing in Miami. So is Marcus Vick. Definitely expect an arrest by week 8. 2006 record: 9-7

New York Jets – Will this be the year for Chad (I wish I were left-handed) Pennington? Can he make a throw over 15 yards with that spaghetti strap he calls a right arm? Doubtful. Look for the J-E-T-S to S-U-C-K. 2006 Record: 5-11.

New England Patriots – We get no respect. We get no respect. We get no respect. This will be NE’s rallying cry (and for Tom Brady, I do mean cry) as they look for success and a way to make Bill Belichick not dress like a broke 22-year-old college student at Slippery Rock. Seriously Bill, you don’t want that. 2006 record: 11-5 (Bonus for not playing the Steelers.)

AFC North

Steelers – I’ll admit I’m a Steelers fan. But can the media please not talk about the Steelers every second of the day? Look for the Steelers to be good once again. Unless Big Ben either does one of the following: A) Get on a dirt bike. B) Get injured.) C) Get a girlfriend. Then all bets are off. If Ben gets a girlfriend, don’t let Santonio around her. It’s just common sense. 2006 Record: 11-5

Cincinnati Bengals – Now called the Jail Blazers/Seminoles because of the high number of arrests during the off-season. Should I be surprised? Of course not. But hey, at least they got Chad Johnson to underwhelm the fans as the Bengals continue their strides back toward mediocrity. Oh, and Carson Palmer still has two knees. Now as said before, Johnson has come up with some new celebrations for the year. They are: 1) Dressing up as Santa Claus under his uniform, getting a sleigh full of reindeer and ACTUALLY making them fly. 2) Getting a real Bengal tiger to catch a football while jumping through a hoop. 3) Dancing with the cheerleading squad to the tune of “Getting Dirty.” 4) Changing his number to 86 for the game against the Steelers just so he can imitate Hines Ward. I could definitely see that. 2006: 9-7

Cleveland Browns – Now Performing, it’s “Charlie ‘French’ Frye and the ACL breakers!” including Kellen Winslow, Braylon Edwards, LeCharles Bentley and the guy who feel from the 10th row because he was too drunk! At least they now serve plastic beer bottles. That’s being environmentally safe. But seriously, this team is becoming the netherregion of the NFL.
Maybe Mark Henry played for the Browns once.

Baltimore Ravens – I don’t know what’s more disturbing, the fact that a lot of my friends are moving to Baltimore or that the Ravens might be good this year. Steve McNair has traditionally owned the Steelers as well. Watch for Brian Billick to have his own spit lane on the sideline while blaming everyone else but himself for his team’s failure. 2006: 8-8

AFC West

Denver Broncos – Everybody hates their current blue uniforms, which is no surprise. Everyone also hates Jake Plummer, for good reason. I mean, did you see that horrendous beard he was growing during the playoffs last season. Him and Ben Roethlisberger, those were gruesome beards. Freakin gruesome. Now Jay Cutler is trying to take over the reins and some running back will run for over 1,000 yards. It could even be me. It could even be Ron Dayne. Now that would be something. 2006: 9-7

KC Chiefs – A few people like this team and they’ve got Larry Johnson so the running game should be OK. But Herm Edwards still coaches the team so expect the team to choke during the playoffs. Just hope the kicker is good. 2006: 11-5

San Diego Chargers – San Diego Superchargers! Sing it like you mean it! It’s all good and then some. I mean, all they have is a quarterback that’s never started an NFL game, Tomlinson, Gates and Marty Schottenheimer. Too bad Berman can’t sing the Supercharger song anymore. At least they have nice weather. 2006: 9-7

Oakland Raiders – There are quite a few Raider fans up here. Too bad the Raiders will dwell in the cellar throughout the season. Seriously, Aaron Brooks is the starting quarterback. Randy Moss is thinking life in Minnesota is pretty good right now. At least we won’t have to hear about all the Raider groveling because of Madden this season like we saw during the freakin Hall of Fame game. Puke. By the way, don’t miss Berman saying the RRRRRRRRRAiders. 2006: 4-12

AFC South

Indy Colts – I think the Colts will be like a John Cena match. It’ll be the same old stuff every game and you know how they’ll finish the season. So they’ll probably win the division and lose in the playoffs. But at least Peyton will throw touchdowns. Let’s go insurance inspectors, let’s go. Colts: 11-5

Jax Jaguars – The team that the NFL likes to forget exists. They’ve got Leftwich and the Steelers still really hate them a lot thanks to that Tommy Maddox game last season. Let’s face it, this team gets forgotten about as quickly as Old Navy’s ugly shorts. 2006: 10-6.

Tennessee Titans – After this season, Jeff Fisher might be the permanent spokesman for the head coach video game. It’ll be 49er-like brutal. Expect Vince Young to play and get mauled. 2006: 3-13

Houston Texans – The Texans have had four consecutive losing seasons. But just think, that’s still 10 behind what the Pirates have gone through. The Texans are the Pirates of the NFL. But at least they tanked against the 49ers to get Reggie Bush, oh right. The Texans thought they didn’t need him. 2006: 3-13

Mission Statement/Preseason Preview

The Mission Statement

The Monday Hangover is a blog about the happenings of the NFL season written from September to December. Covering the AFC will be Gary Ashley, the original writer for the Hangover as well as a comedian for Behind the Mayhem and TM2 Productions. The NFC will be covered by Greg Reedy, a newspaper reporter for the town of Ridgway.

The Hangover will cover games that occured on Sunday. Before Sunday Gary and Greg will pick 3 games to cover in each conference to cover with their predictions. The article for the week will make this blog usually around Monday afternoon or so.

The NFL Preseason is a lot like an episode of Who's Line is it Anyway?: everything's made up and the points don't matter. However, as the Hangover's NFC correspondent Greg Reedy adds, injuries do.

Rather than answer some questions on the upcoming 2006 NFL season, such as if the Steelers will retain, SI's diety Tom Brady triumphing, or Madden eaten bbq wings during his hall-of-fame speech today, we here at the Monday Hangover feel that certain NFL teams covered last here at the Hangover need a question to ask themselves about this season. So here we go:

AFC

Pittsburgh Steelers - Can the defending Super Bowl Champs prevent another Defcon with Ben avoiding injury, or will the media latch onto Santonio Holmes beating his girlfriend instead of defenders?

Cincinnatti Bengals - Will they capture the newly constructed AFC Powder Puff division, and is Chad Johnson simply a noisy fish in a small pond?

New England Patriots - Vanderjagt will cost the Patriots Super Bowl XLI: Fact or Fiction?

Indianapolis Colts - Is Peyton Manning going to be in anymore cool Mastercard commercials, or will the series hump the shark by hiring his brother?

Cleveland Browns - At what point in the season will their hopes be crushed like a nerd at prom?

New York Jets - Is the hospital ready for the Quarterback club?

Houston Texans - Is this the year of the 5 win season?

NFC

Dallas Cowboys - Have they fully regained their most-hated team status thanks to TO? and will TO get PO'ed at Parcell's BO and get KO'ed?

Detroit Lions - Since Detroit doesn't host a major sporting event until March (Wrestlemania 23), will the fans go shopping on Sundays?

Minnesota Vikings - Wanna buy a boat?

New Orleans Saints - They survived a hurricane last year, can they survive another NFL season with a crappy QB this season?

Arizona Cardinals - Does the heat in Arizona cause dellusions of grandeur for the Cards?

Seattle Seahawks - Are there Seattle Seahawks fans that exist outside of Seattle?

San Francisco 49ers - Can they return to their prime as in Madden 96, or will they score 3 points a game like last year? And who's their friggin QB this year?

With those questions to ask, we can say yes to all of them.