Week 3 AFC Recap
Gary Ashley
Potential Madden T-Shirt Winner
San Francisco at Pittsburgh – Get your aluminum foil ready for the antenna, this game is on FOX this week. Allen Rossum makes a great deal leaving the Falcons in the preseason and showed it today running back a 98 yard kickoff for a TD on the first Steelers possession. Ben keeps the warning level in the green throwing 13/20 for 160 yards and 1 TD while Alex Smith went 17/35 for 209 yards and 2 TDs; one to SF WR Taylor Jacobs and another to Steelers CB Bryant McFadden. As noted by a friend, San Fran players appeared to be hugging a little longer than usual on the sidelines after one field goal. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Next week Coach Tomlin faces former potential Steelers Coach/Bum Cousin Russ with the other half of the MexiBowl, the Arizona Cardinals. Is there a warning level less urgent than “Low”? YOUR FINAL: Defense Wins Championships 37, At Least they’re Trying 16
Arizona at Baltimore – And speaking of Cousin Russ, this week he played a team in a conference he should know very well with a team that is sadly in the NFC. Russ made a very interesting decision in the 2nd quarter, yanking starter Matt Leinart (9/20 for 53 yards) for former stock boy Kurt Warner. The move worked as Warner threw 15/20 for 258 yards and 2 TDs, both to Anquan “holding on to what’s” Boldin. Baltimore QB Steve McNair, who celebrated his 70th* birthday this week, went 20/27 for 198 yards and Baltimore’s lone offensive TD, the other points from field goals and a punt return TD. Only points from field goals, certainly something Arizona knows about. YOUR FINAL: Defense Wins Championships but our offense sucks 26, Cowher I want my job back 23
Indianapolis at Houston – Ok Indy stop being cute. We know you’re sandbagging it to make the games interesting. Payton Manning, cut out the hotel hallway commercial and throw 6 TDs for that bum in your office fantasy league. You know him; he's the guy that rhymes everything that no one likes. He’s in accounting. Manning put up decent fantasy numbers going 20/29 for 273 yards and 1 TD. On the other side, NFL.com fantasy guru Michael Fabiano suggested starting Houston QB Matt “Cotton” Schaub, who went 27/33 for 236 yards, 1 TD and 2 INTs. The best fantasy advice you can take is none. Not even the ones you get from magazines. YOUR FINAL: We play better on Sunday nights 30, We don’t have throwback uniforms 24
And now, the part of the article that never looks good in a 75th anniversary throwback jersey:
THE LIST
(of players and things to be released before the trade deadline)
1) Marc Bulger – 17/26 for 113 yards, 3 INTs – You can blame the heat all you want, but they got 3.
2) Philadelphia Eagles Throwback Jerseys – Seriously, it looked like the UCLA home jersey had sex with a puddle of urine. This jersey was designed before color TVs. This is why Philly hasn’t won a major championship. Then again if they keep putting up 56 points a game then maybe they can set broadcasting technology back 10 years in the process. Oregon University called, they said the “ugly uniform trophy” is yours this week.
3) TIE – J.P. Loserman (BUF) - 1/1, 4 yards, 1 lost fumble, injured on first play of the game - Trent Edwards (BUF) – 10/20, 97 yards, 1 INT – The Pats knew this was going to happen. Insider information.
4) Matt Leinart – 9/20 for 53 yards, replaced in the 2nd quarter – Cousin Russ’s decision to replace him makes up for him leaving the Steelers in the first place.
Gary’s Picks – 9-0
Reedy’s Picks – 5-3
Potential Madden T-Shirt Winner
San Francisco at Pittsburgh – Get your aluminum foil ready for the antenna, this game is on FOX this week. Allen Rossum makes a great deal leaving the Falcons in the preseason and showed it today running back a 98 yard kickoff for a TD on the first Steelers possession. Ben keeps the warning level in the green throwing 13/20 for 160 yards and 1 TD while Alex Smith went 17/35 for 209 yards and 2 TDs; one to SF WR Taylor Jacobs and another to Steelers CB Bryant McFadden. As noted by a friend, San Fran players appeared to be hugging a little longer than usual on the sidelines after one field goal. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Next week Coach Tomlin faces former potential Steelers Coach/Bum Cousin Russ with the other half of the MexiBowl, the Arizona Cardinals. Is there a warning level less urgent than “Low”? YOUR FINAL: Defense Wins Championships 37, At Least they’re Trying 16
Arizona at Baltimore – And speaking of Cousin Russ, this week he played a team in a conference he should know very well with a team that is sadly in the NFC. Russ made a very interesting decision in the 2nd quarter, yanking starter Matt Leinart (9/20 for 53 yards) for former stock boy Kurt Warner. The move worked as Warner threw 15/20 for 258 yards and 2 TDs, both to Anquan “holding on to what’s” Boldin. Baltimore QB Steve McNair, who celebrated his 70th* birthday this week, went 20/27 for 198 yards and Baltimore’s lone offensive TD, the other points from field goals and a punt return TD. Only points from field goals, certainly something Arizona knows about. YOUR FINAL: Defense Wins Championships but our offense sucks 26, Cowher I want my job back 23
Indianapolis at Houston – Ok Indy stop being cute. We know you’re sandbagging it to make the games interesting. Payton Manning, cut out the hotel hallway commercial and throw 6 TDs for that bum in your office fantasy league. You know him; he's the guy that rhymes everything that no one likes. He’s in accounting. Manning put up decent fantasy numbers going 20/29 for 273 yards and 1 TD. On the other side, NFL.com fantasy guru Michael Fabiano suggested starting Houston QB Matt “Cotton” Schaub, who went 27/33 for 236 yards, 1 TD and 2 INTs. The best fantasy advice you can take is none. Not even the ones you get from magazines. YOUR FINAL: We play better on Sunday nights 30, We don’t have throwback uniforms 24
And now, the part of the article that never looks good in a 75th anniversary throwback jersey:
THE LIST
(of players and things to be released before the trade deadline)
1) Marc Bulger – 17/26 for 113 yards, 3 INTs – You can blame the heat all you want, but they got 3.
2) Philadelphia Eagles Throwback Jerseys – Seriously, it looked like the UCLA home jersey had sex with a puddle of urine. This jersey was designed before color TVs. This is why Philly hasn’t won a major championship. Then again if they keep putting up 56 points a game then maybe they can set broadcasting technology back 10 years in the process. Oregon University called, they said the “ugly uniform trophy” is yours this week.
3) TIE – J.P. Loserman (BUF) - 1/1, 4 yards, 1 lost fumble, injured on first play of the game - Trent Edwards (BUF) – 10/20, 97 yards, 1 INT – The Pats knew this was going to happen. Insider information.
4) Matt Leinart – 9/20 for 53 yards, replaced in the 2nd quarter – Cousin Russ’s decision to replace him makes up for him leaving the Steelers in the first place.
Gary’s Picks – 9-0
Reedy’s Picks – 5-3
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