Week 2 AFC Recap
Gary Ashley
I videotaped my high school's defensive plays, so what Roger?
Buffalo vs. Pittsburgh - Memo to all other sports teams in the United States and parts of Canada: Pittsburgh sports teams play better with retro jerseys. Yes, even the Pirates but that's like 40% of the time. Yes the Steelers turned the clock WAY back, way back before the Steel Curtain days, donning the Black and Nacho Cheese for an old school beating of the Buffalo Bills. The Bills wish they had turned back the clock to 1992 when Jim Kelly (FROM! East Brady, PA!) was at QB. On a side note, Jim Kelly's haircut looks a lot like Don Flamenco from Mike Tyson's Punch Out. You do the Google image search. Ben Roethlisberger keeps the alert system in the green going 21/34 for 242 yards, 1 TD and 1 INT. Expect Buffalo to keep drafting QBs thanks to J.P. Loserman's 15/25 for 154 yard performance, but then again the Steeler defense made more of a case for that so we'll let him off light. It started as a soccer match in the first half as Jeff Reed, named best kicker hair by the 18-34 female NFL demographic, booted 4 field goals through the posts, none of them hitting Steely McBeam. Buffalo kicker Rian Lindell hit the only score for Buffalo, unlike other Buffalo Bills kickers it was not wide right. Steelers play the moderately-improved 49ers next week while Buffalo contemplates throwbacks. Not jerseys, players. YOUR FINAL: Nacho Cheese Retro Steelers 24, Rian Lindell 3
Oakland vs. Denver - SeaBass Jani continues his run for the "You're Killing Me, Smalls!" trophy by making the game-winning field goal against Denver. BUT NO! Mike Shananananahan calls a timeout with .10 before the snap. In an unrelated note, David Boston called timeout to the cops with .10 in his system. On take 2, Jani clanks it off the pole and Denver wins a few minutes later. You came blame the kicker all you want, but keep in mind that Oakland QB Josh McUnkown went 8/16 for 73 yards, 1 TD, and 3 INTs in the almost-win. Did Andy Walter get a name change? Oakland looks for another high draft pick to hold out and sign while Denver wins with back-to-back game-winning field goals. Man that was a lot of hyphens. YOUR FINAL: "Into Thin Air" 23, "Into a Black Hole" 20
New England vs. San Diego - Wear aluminum foil! Bill Belechek is stealing your satellite signals! Before the conspiracy theorists such at the New York Jets start pointing at grassy knolls, New England had more football to play and illegal Paris Hilton sex tapes to download off Limewire. To those Fantasy Football lucky owners that have Ladainian Tomlinson on your team, prepare to hari-kari yourself with these numbers: 14 carries, 43 yards rushing; 4 catches, 15 yards. Commence freaking out. Oh and by the way, Bill Belechek just hacked your firewall and installed G3n3r!C V!@gR@ ads on your computer. YOUR FINAL: This Blog Will Be Hacked Soon, Thanks Bill 38, I stayed up 15 hours for the fantasy draft and all I got was this lousy statement describing my #1 draft pick having a horrible game on Sunday Night...breathe... 14
And now, a place where no cameras are allowed:
THE LIST
(of Players to fill in the www.trade____.com domain)
Joey Harrington (QB, ATL) – 12/20 for 200 yards, Sacked 7 times – We would blame it in the offensive line but O-Lines don’t count in fantasy football.
I videotaped my high school's defensive plays, so what Roger?
Buffalo vs. Pittsburgh - Memo to all other sports teams in the United States and parts of Canada: Pittsburgh sports teams play better with retro jerseys. Yes, even the Pirates but that's like 40% of the time. Yes the Steelers turned the clock WAY back, way back before the Steel Curtain days, donning the Black and Nacho Cheese for an old school beating of the Buffalo Bills. The Bills wish they had turned back the clock to 1992 when Jim Kelly (FROM! East Brady, PA!) was at QB. On a side note, Jim Kelly's haircut looks a lot like Don Flamenco from Mike Tyson's Punch Out. You do the Google image search. Ben Roethlisberger keeps the alert system in the green going 21/34 for 242 yards, 1 TD and 1 INT. Expect Buffalo to keep drafting QBs thanks to J.P. Loserman's 15/25 for 154 yard performance, but then again the Steeler defense made more of a case for that so we'll let him off light. It started as a soccer match in the first half as Jeff Reed, named best kicker hair by the 18-34 female NFL demographic, booted 4 field goals through the posts, none of them hitting Steely McBeam. Buffalo kicker Rian Lindell hit the only score for Buffalo, unlike other Buffalo Bills kickers it was not wide right. Steelers play the moderately-improved 49ers next week while Buffalo contemplates throwbacks. Not jerseys, players. YOUR FINAL: Nacho Cheese Retro Steelers 24, Rian Lindell 3
Oakland vs. Denver - SeaBass Jani continues his run for the "You're Killing Me, Smalls!" trophy by making the game-winning field goal against Denver. BUT NO! Mike Shananananahan calls a timeout with .10 before the snap. In an unrelated note, David Boston called timeout to the cops with .10 in his system. On take 2, Jani clanks it off the pole and Denver wins a few minutes later. You came blame the kicker all you want, but keep in mind that Oakland QB Josh McUnkown went 8/16 for 73 yards, 1 TD, and 3 INTs in the almost-win. Did Andy Walter get a name change? Oakland looks for another high draft pick to hold out and sign while Denver wins with back-to-back game-winning field goals. Man that was a lot of hyphens. YOUR FINAL: "Into Thin Air" 23, "Into a Black Hole" 20
New England vs. San Diego - Wear aluminum foil! Bill Belechek is stealing your satellite signals! Before the conspiracy theorists such at the New York Jets start pointing at grassy knolls, New England had more football to play and illegal Paris Hilton sex tapes to download off Limewire. To those Fantasy Football lucky owners that have Ladainian Tomlinson on your team, prepare to hari-kari yourself with these numbers: 14 carries, 43 yards rushing; 4 catches, 15 yards. Commence freaking out. Oh and by the way, Bill Belechek just hacked your firewall and installed G3n3r!C V!@gR@ ads on your computer. YOUR FINAL: This Blog Will Be Hacked Soon, Thanks Bill 38, I stayed up 15 hours for the fantasy draft and all I got was this lousy statement describing my #1 draft pick having a horrible game on Sunday Night...breathe... 14
And now, a place where no cameras are allowed:
THE LIST
(of Players to fill in the www.trade____.com domain)
Joey Harrington (QB, ATL) – 12/20 for 200 yards, Sacked 7 times – We would blame it in the offensive line but O-Lines don’t count in fantasy football.
Matt Prater (K, ATL) – 2 missed field goals – And if it makes you feel better, they lost by 6.
Tarvaris Jackson (QB, MIN) – 17/33 for 166 yards, 1 rushing TD, 4 INTs, replaced before overtime – Only send the closer in if it’s baseball.
Josh McUnknown (OAK) – 8/15 for 73 yards, 1 TD, 3 INTs, 1 lost fumble – He’ll blame it on the kicker.
Gary's Picks - 6-0
Reedy's Picks - 4-2
posted by Gary at
7:00 PM
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