AFC Week 3 Preview
Cincinnati at Pittsburgh – Carson Palmer returns to the place where he suffered from Career Threatening Injury #1 and bounced back this season. Ben Rothlisberger returns home recovering from Career Threatening Injury #4 with a low-scoring Monday night loss thanks to the Jacksonville Asspains. Chad Johnson called out Joey Porter to meet him at the 50-yard line. One place Chad hasn’t been meeting is the end zone, in which he has been blanked in the last 3 games against the Steelers. Gary says: I’m contractually forced to root for the Steelers as they engage in their Sunday afternoon season opener. Steelers, but not by much.
Jacksonville at Indianapolis – On this week’s edition of Pimp My Bandwagon, Jacksonville rolls on into Indy to add shady mirror dice, spinning rims, and more TVs in the backseat than a Best Buy heist. Look for Buy-Ron to have an ok game while being outscored by Pedigree Manning because Jacksonville is not a) playing the Steelers, b) against an injured QB, c) Tommy Maddox, d) all of the above. The hype train ends here. Gary says: Indy by two touchdowns, otherwise Jacksonville EXISTS.
Tennessee at Miami – It was a tossup between this game and the “Patroits Loser’s Bracket” match of the NY Jets at Buffalo. This clearly has more potential for humor. Here you have three starting QBs for two respective teams that have accumulated more picks than a weekend ice climber. The Vince Young era starts this weekend for the Titans. Kerry Collins will be at the Gatorade table playing flipcup. In the words of a famous wrestling announcer, this game will be “bowling shoe ugly.” Gary says: Collins gets benched, above 4 INTs total, and Miami wins with a lone touchdown and field goals. I think Jeff Fisher has a case of the Kordells (definition: defending your crappy QB until it almost costs you your job).
Jacksonville at Indianapolis – On this week’s edition of Pimp My Bandwagon, Jacksonville rolls on into Indy to add shady mirror dice, spinning rims, and more TVs in the backseat than a Best Buy heist. Look for Buy-Ron to have an ok game while being outscored by Pedigree Manning because Jacksonville is not a) playing the Steelers, b) against an injured QB, c) Tommy Maddox, d) all of the above. The hype train ends here. Gary says: Indy by two touchdowns, otherwise Jacksonville EXISTS.
Tennessee at Miami – It was a tossup between this game and the “Patroits Loser’s Bracket” match of the NY Jets at Buffalo. This clearly has more potential for humor. Here you have three starting QBs for two respective teams that have accumulated more picks than a weekend ice climber. The Vince Young era starts this weekend for the Titans. Kerry Collins will be at the Gatorade table playing flipcup. In the words of a famous wrestling announcer, this game will be “bowling shoe ugly.” Gary says: Collins gets benched, above 4 INTs total, and Miami wins with a lone touchdown and field goals. I think Jeff Fisher has a case of the Kordells (definition: defending your crappy QB until it almost costs you your job).
posted by Gary at
7:56 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home