Week 9 AFC Recap
Gary Ashley
Highest Bidder to take out Tom Brady
New England at Indianapolis - Joey Porter got this pick correct. I didn't. I have come to the official conclusion that Tom Brady is like the guy in high school who's on the football team, wins King for both Winter Formal and Prom, is a model student and yet everyone wants to be thrown under a very large vehicle. Yes Tom Brady you may have your white teeth, your perfect season, your supermodel girlfriend, and your Super Bowl rings. But why do we hate you? You're not funny. You don't appeal to the everyman. Peyton Manning has been featured on Saturday Night Live and in the ever-popular Mastercard commercials. The biggest showdown ever in the NFL went to New England, but still Tom Brady will forever suck at life when the 1972 Dolphins come back to break his leg. I refuse to discuss this game further. YOUR FINAL: F*** TOM BRADY a buncha points, Peyton Manning and America less points
Washington at New York Jets - Kellen Clemens (Kellogg's Corn Flakes) makes his first NFL start and played grrrrrrreat. The Jets run defense was a soggier story as Clinton "Southeast Jerome" Portis for 196 yards and 1 TD on 36 carries on an overtime victory. This was quite possibly the most exciting Jets loss all season long. YOUR FINAL: Dibbs on Gibbs 23, Cock on the Box 20
Baltimore at Pittsburgh - Pittsburgh had reason to celebrate Monday evening and not because an episode of The Bachelor was moved to 2 AM. With a win over the Baltimore Pigeons the Steelers would remain undefeated in the AFC North. Further taking the sting out of the Epic Game from yesterday was Ben Roethlisberger's freaking five first half TDs (13/16 for 209 yards, 5 TDs.) While the addition of Ron Jaws doesn't exactly enhance the chattering nanny that is Tony "Chucklenuts" Kornheiser, he makes for a better voice and appearance than one unemployed Joe Theismann. Steelers Linebacker James Harrison went absonuts with 2 recovered fumbles and 1 INT, while Ray Lewis was all pumped up after a Willie Parker 1 yard gain. Next play the Steelers passed for a TD with Parker blocking Lewis. AFC North teams go round robin style as the Ravens play Cincy while the Steelers play 2nd place...Cleveland!?...am I reading this right? YOUR FINAL: Undefeated 11-0 at home on MNF 38, WE MUST PROTECT THIS FUMBLE! 7
THE LIST
Baltimore Ravens - 4 fumbles (3 lost), 1 INT, 85 total penalty yards - You know it's a bad game when Tony Kornheiser mentions sneaking into the press box upstairs for food.
Alex Smith (SF) - 17/38 for 149 yards, 3 INTs - You start the season with high hopes, then after the bye it all goes downhill. They are playing like the Pirates this season.
Kurt Warner (ARI) - 10/30 for 172, 2 INTs - How's the elbow holding up?
Philip Rivers (SD) - 19/42 for 197 yards, 1 INT - Interesting Note: All California NFL teams lost this week.
David Carr (CAR) - 15/27 for 107 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT, Sacked 7 times - Carolina fans want to give Vinny one more third chance.
Josh McUnknown (OAK) - 13/27 for 158 yards, 1 TD, 3 INTs - Honestly I didn't know Dante was injured.
Highest Bidder to take out Tom Brady
New England at Indianapolis - Joey Porter got this pick correct. I didn't. I have come to the official conclusion that Tom Brady is like the guy in high school who's on the football team, wins King for both Winter Formal and Prom, is a model student and yet everyone wants to be thrown under a very large vehicle. Yes Tom Brady you may have your white teeth, your perfect season, your supermodel girlfriend, and your Super Bowl rings. But why do we hate you? You're not funny. You don't appeal to the everyman. Peyton Manning has been featured on Saturday Night Live and in the ever-popular Mastercard commercials. The biggest showdown ever in the NFL went to New England, but still Tom Brady will forever suck at life when the 1972 Dolphins come back to break his leg. I refuse to discuss this game further. YOUR FINAL: F*** TOM BRADY a buncha points, Peyton Manning and America less points
Washington at New York Jets - Kellen Clemens (Kellogg's Corn Flakes) makes his first NFL start and played grrrrrrreat. The Jets run defense was a soggier story as Clinton "Southeast Jerome" Portis for 196 yards and 1 TD on 36 carries on an overtime victory. This was quite possibly the most exciting Jets loss all season long. YOUR FINAL: Dibbs on Gibbs 23, Cock on the Box 20
Baltimore at Pittsburgh - Pittsburgh had reason to celebrate Monday evening and not because an episode of The Bachelor was moved to 2 AM. With a win over the Baltimore Pigeons the Steelers would remain undefeated in the AFC North. Further taking the sting out of the Epic Game from yesterday was Ben Roethlisberger's freaking five first half TDs (13/16 for 209 yards, 5 TDs.) While the addition of Ron Jaws doesn't exactly enhance the chattering nanny that is Tony "Chucklenuts" Kornheiser, he makes for a better voice and appearance than one unemployed Joe Theismann. Steelers Linebacker James Harrison went absonuts with 2 recovered fumbles and 1 INT, while Ray Lewis was all pumped up after a Willie Parker 1 yard gain. Next play the Steelers passed for a TD with Parker blocking Lewis. AFC North teams go round robin style as the Ravens play Cincy while the Steelers play 2nd place...Cleveland!?...am I reading this right? YOUR FINAL: Undefeated 11-0 at home on MNF 38, WE MUST PROTECT THIS FUMBLE! 7
THE LIST
Baltimore Ravens - 4 fumbles (3 lost), 1 INT, 85 total penalty yards - You know it's a bad game when Tony Kornheiser mentions sneaking into the press box upstairs for food.
Alex Smith (SF) - 17/38 for 149 yards, 3 INTs - You start the season with high hopes, then after the bye it all goes downhill. They are playing like the Pirates this season.
Kurt Warner (ARI) - 10/30 for 172, 2 INTs - How's the elbow holding up?
Philip Rivers (SD) - 19/42 for 197 yards, 1 INT - Interesting Note: All California NFL teams lost this week.
David Carr (CAR) - 15/27 for 107 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT, Sacked 7 times - Carolina fans want to give Vinny one more third chance.
Josh McUnknown (OAK) - 13/27 for 158 yards, 1 TD, 3 INTs - Honestly I didn't know Dante was injured.
posted by Gary at
5:57 PM
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